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Humor - Murphy Law  -  Joke

  • Any given program, when running, is obsolete.

  • Any given program costs more and takes longer each time it is run.

  • If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.

  • If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.

  • Any given program will expand to fill all the available memory.

  • The value of a program is inversely proportional to the weight of its output.

  • Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the programmer who must maintain it.

  • Every non- trivial program has at least one bug
    Corollary 1 - A sufficient condition for program triviality is that it have no bugs.
    Corollary 2 - At least one bug will be observed after the author leaves the organization.

  • Bugs will appear in one part of a working program when another 'unrelated' part is modified.

  • The subtlest bugs cause the greatest damage and problems.
    Corollary - A subtle bug will modify storage thereby masquerading as some other problem.

  • A 'debugged' program that crashes will wipe out source files on storage devices when there is the least available backup.

 

  • A hardware failure will cause system software to crash, and the customer engineer will blame the programmer.

  • A system software crash will cause hardware to act strangely and the programmers will blame the customer engineer.

 

  • Undetectable errors are infinite in variety, in contrast to detectable errors, which by definition are limited.

  • Adding manpower to a late ERP project makes it later.

  • Make it possible for programmers to write programs in English, and you will find that programmers can not write in English.

  • The documented interfaces between standard software modules will have undocumented quirks.

  • The probability of a hardware failure disappearing is inversely proportional to the distance between the computer and the customer engineer.

  • A working program is one that has only unobserved bugs.

  • No matter how many resources you have, it is never enough.

  • Any cool program always requires more memory than you have.

  • When you finally buy enough memory, you will not have enough disk space.

  • Disks are always full. It is futile to try to get more disk space. Data expands to fill any void.

  • If a program actually fits in memory and has enough disk space, it is guaranteed to crash.

  • If such a program has not crashed yet, it is waiting for a critical moment before it crashes.

  • No matter how good of a deal you get on computer components, the price will always drop immediately after the purchase.

  • All components become obsolete.

  • The speed with which components become obsolete is directly proportional to the price of the component.

  • Software bugs are impossible to detect by anybody except the end user.

  • The maintenance engineer will never have seen a model quite like yours before.

  • It is axiomatic that any spares required will have just been discontinued and will be no longer in stock.

  • Any VDU, from the cheapest to the most expensive, will protect a twenty cent fuse by blowing first.

  • Any manufacturer making his warranties dependent upon the device being earthed will only supply power cabling with two wires.

  • If a circuit requires n components, then there will be only n - 1 components in locally-held stocks.

  • A failure in a device will never appear until it has passed final inspection.

  • Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.

  • A program generator creates programs that are more buggy than the program generator.

  • All Constants are Variables.  Constants aren't. Variables won't

 

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